When will I be normal?

Mom’s birthday is in four days.  I am paralyzed.  I just got out of graduate school and I should be looking for work, instead I am drinking, hanging out, having sex, basically doing anything I can to not feel the pain of her loss.  But the pain is still there.  It lingers.  

I spoke to my brother today.  It was a good conversation.  He admitted to also just feeling like bawling and curling up into a ball.  It seems like he is better adjusted than I am.  I am hoping this feeling will process and that I will somehow move on and one day be happy or feel normal.

But today.  I hurt.

This entry was posted in Grief.

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